Every sperm is scared

We owe so much of our rich array of pop-cultural references to the Monty Python troupe's satirical genius. The incomparable Michael Palin plays a poor Catholic man who must sell his 63 children for medical experimentation because he and his wife played by a cross-dressing Terry Jones can no longer afford their care and feeding. Asked why they don't, say, practice contraception, he explains this is against Catholic dogma, and breaks into song. There's actually some truth to the sacredness of sperm if you look at its history in various global cultures -- or rather, the sacredness of semen , the fluid which contains the sperm.

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There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists There are Hindus, and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammed but I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic And have been since before I were born And the one thing they say about Catholics is They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six footer You don't have to have a great brain You don't have to have any clothes on You're a Catholic the moment Dad came Because. Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground God shall make them pay For each sperm that can't be found. Every sperm is useful Every sperm is fine God needs everybody's Mine, and mine, and mine.

The sheer amount of minestrone used in the vomiting sequence was only possible because we were with Universal. That part was filmed at Seymour leisure centre in Paddington. On the morning after the final scene, in which Mr Creosote explodes and thousands of gallons of vomit get hurled against the walls, the room was all cleaned up immaculately — and, within 12 hours, two people were married in there. I wonder if they ever knew what had happened hours before. The sketches drew on what we were feeling at the time.